You plan for almost every aspect of life, from deciding where to go to college, where to live, and which job to apply for to which career path to pursue, what schools your children will attend, and the list goes on and on.
Contemplating a divorce requires the same attention to many details, from your emotional and financial readiness to how to cope after the papers are signed. A healthy divorce is the goal and within reach with a little advanced planning and strategy.
“Divorce isn’t easy for anyone,” says Paul Seabrook, founder of Seabrook Law Offices in San Jose and Fremont. “It might be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever go through.” However, he adds,” There are plans you can do to make the process easier and healthier for you and your children.”
The team of experienced divorce lawyers at Seabrook Law Office offers the following checklist to help you plan for filing for divorce.
A few questions to first consider when initially preparing for a divorce:
- Are you confident you and your children will be better off after the divorce?
- Do you have enough money to transition from being married to being single, i.e., rent money, income, etc.?
- Do you know what you want from the divorce regarding entitlements, custody, and support?
- Do you have joint assets and debts, bank, retirement, and investment accounts documentation?
Once the decision to divorce is made, consider these strategies to navigate a successful and healthier divorce:
- Commit to staying out of court. Both parties can be satisfied with the outcome by committing to being civil with each other, making important decisions together, and not relying on a judge to make these decisions for you. Treat the divorce like a business transaction, dissolving a partnership and dividing the assets. Mediation may help with the negotiations and finding that middle ground, but this is also a less expensive and time-efficient option than going to court.
- Look at finances, assets, incomes, and debts. Get a copy of your credit report. Create a budget for what you need for the single-income household. Resist emptying joint bank accounts or maxing out joint credit cards. This will only cause more problems later during the proceedings.
- Remember to take care of your health and your children’s health. A sound mind will make sound decisions. Get sleep, exercise, eat well, and recharge your mind during the process.
- Keep your private life, well, private. It’s in your best interest and the best interest of your children to resist posting your divorce details on social media or talking too freely about your relationship with your soon-to-be ex-spouse.
- Control your emotions in public or on social media despite being hurt, angry, and upset. This is not the time to “try to get even” or “get your revenge.” This is the time to negotiate the most positive and healthy outcome so you and your children can move on.
- Take one day at a time. Try to make the best of this new life out of a marriage. Expect a rollercoaster of emotions and find a close friend or professional counselor to listen to you when you need to talk.
- And finally, learn new coping strategies. Getting a divorce is a new experience. Remain positive and connect with positive people. Support your children through the process by maintaining their routines as much as possible, remaining involved in their lives, reassuring them of your love, and keeping negativity to yourself.
Compassionate and experienced, the divorce lawyers at Seabrook Law Office offer free consultations to discuss each couple and family’s unique situation and issues. Seabrook attorneys are there to inform, educate, assist, and guide their clients from initial filing to resolution.
Contact Seabrook Law Offices. 6840 Via Del Oro, Suite 265, San Jose. (408) 769-5817 or 2201 Walnut Ave., Suite 190, Fremont. (510) 400-4984. Visit www.seabrooklawoffices.com, check out their latest blogs, or request a free consultation.